Memories of You

Shadows flicker in too bright lights
unwanted, undesired dark reminders
flutter without warning to the back of my head
questions long unanswered.

Why? is the core
possibility of reason
history, time, past or present —  no answers
a decisive path picked from limited options
permanent solution to what temporary problem?
rumors, tales as vague now as then
 ounce of reality

What unspeakable pain did you suffer
could no one hear the cries?
fear of unknown apathy
whose fault? the answer
it died like the oceans wave’s desire for earth
rising
                reaching
                                grasping
                                                 falling
                                                                gasping
                                                pleading
                                drowning
                drifting
 lost.

Faded pictures trapped in the flood
shadows left behind in place
stark white faces in lonely distances and she followed you!
invited no solace to ease her pain
a pact of Lucifer’s angels she signed for you!

Heavenly hellish fate? A choke hold of a joke.
preteen editions of Adam and eve in fire and brimstone?
 together now in soil, ha! Not even the same plot of earth!
mocked now by geography, physical separation of biology
your infection rotted her core
you cannot ROT together.

What would you be now, above us all? Better than the rest
considering your point proved
You sure showed them!
you showed us all…

which suffocated thought was the last?
                fear
                                doubt
                                                 denial
                                                                 confusion
 remorse
                reconsideration
                                                too late

a shuddering halt to your last breath.

Was it of her?
Of the mistake?
That she’d soon be to follow?
That we’d all be sorry?

Now you’re nothing!
aspirations to be the meals of worms.
Waste of a Child
the innocent potential of a scalpel
 kill or heal.

An alternative universe might prove a validity of your fears
dark horrors perceived in life to create the pain to excuse your choice,
the path worse than the cliff you jumped
just another mouth to feed.

This world will never know
stolen opportunity from a universe that welcomed you
brought you life, sunlight, pleasure
nothing could sustain you?

Nothing but you
could sustain her.

Whatever the reason , cause
Whatever meaning or excuse
your chosen path was forever
selfish blood of two hearts on your hands

Wish my mind’s curiosities would quit lingering
on a hunt for inconsequential, unobtainable answers

 If only I could remember your faces.